・Summary
Currently, one method to enhance communication and human skills is to teach people to control their emotions.
For example, we are taught to control our anger or to smile.
These are false and nonsensical teachings.
Yet, everywhere they are spreading.
Don't you wonder?
When raising children, we are now told that it is not good to use corporal punishment or to give arbitrarily harsh advice without respecting the child's will.
We have come to know that it is not good to coerce others. This is much like a person controlling another person.
To control one's emotions is to control oneself.
A detailed analysis of controlling one's emotions is necessary.
A person in good mental health may change the way he or she treats others from time to time. It is not about controlling our emotions, but about developing manners toward others based on reason.
What is dominance? It is to deny others without understanding their situations and feelings, and to force them to say or do something one-sidedly.
It is denying without understanding one's inner situation and feelings, and forcing one-sided words and actions without understanding one's own inner situation and feelings, which is controlling oneself.
In a state of health, a person naturally smiles and has a calm personality without anger arising. There are humans who are forced to smile, forcefully suppress their anger, and speak and act like robots. The consequences for both of these people are quite different. The person in good health will lead a prosperous life. However, the robotic person will become increasingly lonely and mentally ill.
Anger erupts and smiles are absent because they are sick for some reason.
When you are physically wounded, the wound causes pain, blood, festering, and if not treated, necrosis.
When you have negative emotions, it is because you are mentally wounded.
What happens if you look only at the symptoms, such as anger and unresponsiveness, and contain them and make them behave well?
What happens if you look at a wound on the body that is painful, bleeding, and festering, and command the patient not to say it hurts, or to make the wound look clean?
If you do not look at the wound carefully and treat it, it will get worse and worse.
Mental wounds are invisible. If you only pessimize the symptoms and suppress them, the wound will get worse and worse under the surface.
Instead of controlling anger, if the cause is trauma or stress, it is important to focus on the root cause and rest.
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Also, controlling emotions and manners are different.
Manners can be learned when one is mentally healthy.
Self-esteem can only be developed when one is able to trust others.
In the capitalist system, in a society of inequality and industrial development, many people are wounded by others.
When we are wounded by others, we develop aggression and defensive instincts toward others.
Teaching manners to wounded people can only lead to domination.
There is an order. First, we must heal our own emotional wounds. The reason we do not smile, anger and suffering arise is because we have been hurt by others and our spirit is sick.
Focus on the story of self and rest.
Then you will not hate others.
It may take time, but smiling will come naturally.
You will also stop having paroxysmal anger, hatred, and resentment toward others.
And you will naturally want to respect others. Then you will want to learn manners.
Unless more people know this truth and improve upon it, it will be difficult to achieve sustainable goals. This is because sick thoughts and feelings can only lead to destructive ideas.
